10 Outrageous HOA Rules

With the dawning of the wonderful Spring weather here in Arizona, and with the launch of my book soon to be in stores and online everywhere, I thought I would take an opportune moment to have a little fun. 

As some of you may know, I am a big fan of Facebook only because it allows me to stay in touch with the many dear friends I have made along my crazy and adventurous journey. I have some great “never met them” friends, some “super wacky” friends, others I really wish we made more time for, and still others that I actually get to see once in a while. Our interests are eclectic.  There are fellow car guys, professional speakers, writers, business owners, moms, dads, singles and marrieds. There are those that are struggling, and others that are flying high.  I have friends who live life on perpetual vacation mode, and I have others that are so busy I am surprised that they have time to even write.  I have die hard Cardinal fans, and truth be known, I even have a handful of Dallas Cowboy fans that I am honored to call great friends. All in all, Facebook allows me to keep in touch and know that they are living life to the fullest and every once in a while, we slow down enough to say hey. 

Today’s blog is all about the inspiration behind one of those messages that made me laugh, here is an excerpt;

   

  “…Soooo does anyone know what the minimum plant count is in our HOA? I am just blown away that we just received a notice of a possible fine if we don't comply AND ADD PLANTS??!!! They said if we're unsure of our original plant count that we can go to the Flood Districts website for an aerial view from 2006?? Seriously??!!”

   

I find this hilarious only because I wonder when I see posts like this, why people put themselves through the pain and suffering of an HOA just to have an outside party dictate what color of house you must have, what type of landscape you must use, and anything else they deem appropriate to regulate. To top it off, they send you a monthly bill for their “services.” To me, it’s like a pair of shoes that you thought looked incredible in the window, but when you got home, they pinched your feet and everyone you know made fun of them. 

I think at the beginning of this blog, I said this week’s “Sober Thoughts” was going to be funny, so without further ado, here are the top 10 most ridiculous HOA rules. While you read, I think I will go out to my porch, look at the house across from me, complete with an old couch on the front yard ready for removal, and two doors down where it looks like the guy is doing an engine swap in his driveway…. Freedom!!!!

Top 10 Most Ridiculous HOA rules!

10. No Permanent shutters (Florida) in one of the most hurricane-prone states in the world, one HOA deems permanent shutters as an “eye-sore” and states that a homeowner must only install shutters “right before” the storm and must take them down no later than 24 hours after the storm- how much warning do hurricanes give?  

9. You can not smoke in your own house- Citing second-hand smoke health dangers, some HOA’s maintain a provision that you can not smoke on your own property whether it is inside or outside your home- now I’m not a smoker, but really? Inside your own home?

8. Pets feet can not touch the floor at anytime- one HOA that has common property areas (pool, mailbox, club house) stipulated that any homeowner with pets can not allow the animal’s feet to touch the floor while in common areas- “Hope you can carry your favorite Rottweiler Marmaduke, when you retrieve the mail every morning, grandma.”

7. One can not wear any type of heel inside their home- One high-rise condominium HOA forbids heels to be worn inside homeowners homes due to the fact that “they make too much noise” –all I can say is W.O.W…

6. No clotheslines allowed- Be it far from us to give the impression that we can not afford a drier, one HOA states that drying clothes outside on “any type of line” is a no-no. 

5.  You must have a consistently green lawn- A man in Florida was actually jailed due to his inability to keep his lawn perfectly green. His reasons were that he could no longer afford all the expense of keeping his lawn perfectly maintained, the HOA filed a complaint and the man was jailed by local authorities.

4. No posting of “For Sale” signs allowed (including your house)- This means that even if you wanted to sell your house, the realtor is not allowed to post a “For Sale” sign out front. This also means no garage sales, or if you want to sell your car, you’ll have to figure out a way of doing it without actually posting a sign saying that it is available. 

3.  You can not park your car in your own driveway- One Florida HOA does not allow any vehicles to remain in their driveways overnight; they must all be garaged. One homeowner who happened to purchase an oversize 4x4 truck was fined daily until he sold the vehicle. I have other ways I could have used that 4x4!

2. You can be fined for things you are seen doing through your window- One Arizona couple was fined for sharing a kiss that was “too passionate in nature” when viewed by one board member through the couples own window as he was passing by.- I just have one question- how do you explain the binoculars?

1. No Mother in Laws allowed- In Idaho, married couples have the ability to legally ban their mothers in law from visiting their home in one HOA.  Really it’s true.  Hmmmmm, wonder what the economy is like in Idaho….

To all my HOA buddies, we can’t feel too bad for you, you knew what you were buying, but when something wacky does happen, be sure to share it with us so we can laugh alongside with you!!! Now where’s that guy with the couch?

-Lou